Are men insecure about their sex life?

According to studies on sexual insecurities, men are more likely to worry about their penis size and their performance in the bedroom, than serious health concerns like heart health, or even incontinence. Aging can’t be stopped, and the risk of sexual performance issues will most likely increase. Another insecurity that can occur with men is that maybe it has been a long time since they’ve done the deed and they’re afraid of falling short of expectations. Let’s explore the root causes behind these insecurities and how to combat them.

Size Does Matter…Or Does It?

One of the most common insecurities for men when it comes to their sex life is the size of their genitalia. It’s often stated that “bigger is better” and that can get into a man’s head pretty quick.  One common reason that size becomes a flaw to men is due to watching pornography—pornography fosters insecurity by creating unrealistic standards of body image.. Seeing something like that can put them off and make them feel inadequate and not good enough for their partner. However, in reality, the old adage still holds true: it’s not the size of the wave, it’s the motion of the ocean that really matters.

Showing Off Your Body

Not only can penis size make a man insecure, but their whole body as well. Body image issues among men can be linked to high levels of anxiety and stress and due to this pandemic, it’s increased for many. Social media, for example, has been an impact on body image issues as well—-bloggers, male models, and even fashion experts may create unhealthy societal norms regarding their weight and what it means to be masculine.  When men are browsing and seeing these detrimental images on the web, they look at themselves differently which can have a huge effect on their self-image in a negative way.      

Performance Worth Remembering

When a man is desiring to be intimate with their partner, male or female, they hope that their performance is either satisfactory or spectacular. Pleasuring your partner is one of the greatest feelings in the world, but things don’t always go as planned. Sources of media such as movies and television have put a high expectation on sexual encounters; men wanting to improve their sexual performance will take notice of that. In general, society thinks that men are always ready for sex, but honestly, that’s not always the case and many men are insecure about being able to pleasure their partner.     

How to Overcome Insecurities

Now that we’ve reviewed some common sexual insecurities, let’s take a look at how they can be resolved. Obviously, not all problems can be solved overnight, but here are some helpful tips:

  • Address health-related concerns—Sometimes when it comes to performance issues, having a condition such as erectile dysfunction can be one of the main culprits. This can happen under the age of 50 as well, so even if you’re a young man you may still be at risk as well. So if you’re having trouble gaining or maintaining an erection, be sure to contact your physician. A doctor can help diagnose your erectile dysfunction and may provide you with treatment options such as a prescription such as sildenafil. There are plenty of ways to address sexual dysfunctions if you tackle them head-on.
  • Talking about it—If you know that your performance is affecting you and your partner’s sex life, talk it out. Talk about how you feel and what your main concerns are.  Communication is always key in a relationship, and physical intimacy is one of the key benefits of a relationship. You want to be assured that there aren’t any issues or that any will appear in the future. Finding the best resources such as online blogs, communication self-help books, or advice from fellow couples is a great way to gather pieces of advice as well.
  • Getting some help—Communicate with someone more professional in the field such as a sex coach. They’re all around the country and are trained specifically to help couples out with handling these situations.  Relationship coaches and sex therapists are good options as well. There are a couple of differences between all of the three described and that’s why it is good to do your research before making this step.
  • Having fun—This may be a bizarre suggestion, but have fun with it! Be a little creative—practice those fantasies that you’ve wanted to try out with your partner.  On a tad more serious note, throw a little love language in the mix; when you hear your partner talking about how irresistible you are and how they can’t live life without you, you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world!

What we’ve found out about men’s sexual insecurities is that men can’t expect to be spectacular in the bedroom every time, but that’s completely normal!  It’s good to acknowledge that men can feel insecure sexually and that they shouldn’t be ashamed of it. By recognizing the issues it’s possible to find the right aids. Know that sexual insecurities are part of life and don’t make you any less human. 

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