You’re a tosser, and we know it!
You know what we’re talking about, the thing you do, alone, and probably don’t discuss…masturbating! Why? Because there’s so much shame in society around peoples’ sexual fetishes, desires and appetite that keeping quiet about it isn’t doing us any good.
So where do we start feeling more comfortable with the topic? Let’s start with the task in hand (if you pardon the pun) whether you’re solo or attached, gay or straight, a Millennial or a Baby Boomer — masturbating. Call it wanking, bashing the bishop, making the one-eyed snake spit, pulling the pud, tossing one off, tugging or beat my meat…it’s something all men do.
Firstly, let’s address why are you ashamed? The truth is, we were given the benefit of having an external organ, with one of the male body’s most sensitive glands at the end of it, for pleasure.
From October to November 2018, we interviewed 75 men, aged 18-55 to understand their perception of masturbation, how they masturbate, how it affects their relationship, and what’s common.
Here are some of the interesting stats, along with anecdotes. Think of this as a much-needed masturbation reality check.
Do all men masturbate?
Unsurprisingly, 100% of the guys we spoke to masturbate regularly! It’s certainly deemed a must for all men. And that’s fine!
There’s often a taboo that comes with pleasuring yourself, but your todger is there to please you. Don’t worry about playing with yourself, after all it’s consensual!
How Many Times A Week?
Men we asked masturbate an average of 6 times per week. This varies massively on sexual appetite, age and relationship status. That being said, we found men in their early twenties and early forties pull their puds on average once a day.
In that, we found men living alone or working away were more likely to masturbate.
Millennial’s Do It Most Often
Millennial’s reported masturbating up to 15 times per week, while Gen X was at 12 times and seven times a week for the Boomers.
One millennial told us he “goes at it” 4 times a day, in a rigorous routine. Pray for his future lover!
Singles Versus Those In Relationships
Does your relationship status matter when it comes to solo sex? Switching time scales slightly, we found singles report masturbating 16 times monthly and those in relationships masturbate 10 times per month on average.
Where Are We Doing It?
100% of chaps asked, said they masturbate in bed, preferably lay down. However, some of the more fruitful gents choose a risqué route and add a tommy-tank at work, in the car, in a hotel room and sometimes out in nature!
As long as you stay safe and don’t offend, no judgment here.
Why Do People Masturbate?
The most common reasons for masturbating? The survey found the top three reasons were: relieving sexual tension, stress and desire to achieve sexual pleasure. Sounds about right!
More Millennial’s reported masturbating to relieve stress (63 percent versus 51 percent of Gen X and 46 percent of Boomers). Hey, we have a lot going on and a lot of new social media platforms to keep up with.
We Underestimate How Much People Masturbate
When it comes to our masturbation perceptions about our fellow species, the survey says we’ve got it all wrong. Maybe we’re just all bad at maths, but we’re masturbating much more than we perceive.
11% more men masturbate than respondents expected. LGBTQ respondents were more likely to estimate closer to the reported numbers.
Half Of People Have Masturbation Routines
A whopping 78% percent of the men in the survey have a masturbation routine, which makes sense, because why fix something that isn’t broken? So what’s in these routines? 87% use porn, 58% use their imagination, 34% think of a past experience, 26% look at pictures, and 19% use sex toys.
Common themes came from first thing in the morning or last thing at night before bed…it can send you off to sleep!
We Also Fantasize About People We Know
So, who are we thinking about? The survey found that fantasies are mainly about real-life people, with one in five saying they think about their significant other. Singles are much more likely to masturbate to previous partners than respondents in committed relationships, which for some may be an ‘aww’, and for others an eye roll emoji.
Toys Are Enhancing Our Solo Sessions
19% of men have used or use a sex toy during self-felacio, and those aged 30-39 use a toy regularly when bashing the bishop. And as a surprise to no one who’s ever owned a sex toy, most people who have them say their toys enhance masturbation.
Those using toys most frequently use a cock-ring, Fleshlight or vibrating bullet for your backside!
Most People Just Aren’t Comfortable Discussing Masturbation
It may be something we’re doing regularly, but you won’t find many men bringing up masturbation at the pub. The survey found that 54 percent of people feel uncomfortable discussing masturbation, but among all generations, Millennial’s are the most open-minded to talking about it, closed followed by baby boomers with children, who have discussed it with sons and even given the tips!
Who Do We Talk About It With?
Millennial males and LGBTQ respondents are most comfortable talking about masturbation overall. Respondents said they were only comfortable discussing masturbation with their friends or partners, if anyone. Forty-one percent have been asked about masturbation, including 30 percent who have been asked by a partner and 20 percent by a friend.
But We’re Lying About It
Due to embarrassment and fear of being judged by friends, family, and romantic partners, 29 percent of people admitted to lying about masturbation. On the plus side, whilst taking the survey felt comfortable discussing their habits because they enjoy spanking the monkey.
Caught With Your Pants Round Your Ankles
73% of chaps in the survey had been caught masturbating by a partner, parent or friend at least once in their solo sexual career.
8% of those were caught out at the moment of climax.
92% of them went on to say it led to a healthy discussion about masturbation and led to a funny story.
One participant was caught in his sleep by his wife, who, when asked what he was doing replied “I’m getting handy with my hand.” #Awkward.
Does Size or Foreskin Have Anything To Do With It?
The gents who disclosed they had larger members appear to masturbate more frequently, whilst those who have been circumcised stated masturbation was less important to them.
Do We Want To?
94% said they look forward to being able to masturbate at an open opportunity, with most of the chaps pre-planning when they can toss their todger and feel good.
How Long For?
On average, men spend 20 minutes beating themselves off, with some millennials spending over an hour fondling their junk and ‘edging*’
When asked how quick you can bring yourself to orgasm, if aroused, our survey found it would take most men around 7-8 minutes.
Is It A Healthy Part Of Being A Man?
100% of males agreed masturbation is a healthy part of their lives and of being a man. One respondent explained: “before I knew I what wanking was, my dad asked me if I’d ever played with my dick during the ‘birds and bees’ chat. I proudly told him I did and he told me that he did too. He went on to say that pleasuring yourself is one of the only guaranteed things in this life, so masturbate as much as you can!”
Now for the final stroke…
It’s totally normal to masturbate!
Lots of people masturbate! Even if they don’t talk about it, it’s common for people of any gender or age to do it.
People masturbate for different reasons — it helps them relax, they want to understand their body better, they want to release sexual tension, or their partner isn’t around. But most people masturbate because it feels good. Many people think that masturbation is only something you do when you don’t have a sex partner. But both single people and people in relationships masturbate.
Some people masturbate often, others rarely, and some people don’t masturbate at all. Different people masturbate in different ways, for different reasons. Masturbation is a totally personal decision, and there’s no “normal” way to go about it.
Masturbation is good for your health, both mentally and physically. And it’s pretty much the safest sex out there!
When you have an orgasm, your body releases endorphins, which are hormones that block pain and make you feel good. The good feelings that accompany an orgasm happen whether you’re by yourself or having sex with a partner.
Plenty of research has shown the health benefits of masturbation. Masturbation can:
- release sexual tension
- reduce stress
- help you sleep better
- improve your self-esteem and body image
- help treat sexual problems
…so what are you waiting for? Go and enjoy yourself, knock yourself (or one) out!
If you have any questions or concerns, drop a comment below or contact us.