Finding true love is a wish of most people, but that’s much easier said than done. And even when we are quite happy with someone or in a good dating place, we tend to sabotage our relationships or our efforts to end up happily ever after. There are many ways people prevent themselves from finding a partner, staying in a relationship and elevating the relationship to the next level. What are these dating obstacles we need to overcome and how can we do it? 

Low self-esteem

When you’re dating and meeting new people all the time, your low self-esteem can pose a great risk to your dating life. People notice low self-esteem immediately, and no one wants to be with a person who doesn’t already love herself. Women who suffer from self-esteem issues also often end up settling for an unfulfilling or even abusive relationship just because they don’t think they deserve anything better. Try daily affirmations, mindfulness, positive thinking and even therapy in order to start seeing yourself in a new and more positive light. If you want a good partner and a happy relationship, it’s important to know that you deserve all those things. 

Negative thinking

It’s very exhausting to date a negative person. Sure, dark humor and self-deprecating jokes can be super fun sometimes, but it’s very draining to have to listen to constant complaining, moaning and rude comments. If you’re starting to put off negative vibes, make sure to re-examine how you treat yourself and other people. Being negative to yourself, your partner or anyone around you can be very unimpressive and off-putting—you have to do better if you want to avoid a heartwrenching breakup. 

Not using dating apps

Listen, it’s nice to have a fairytale first meeting story with your partner, but the reality is that those meetings-by-chance rarely happen. Running away from dating apps just because you think they are tacky eliminates a huge number of great people from your radar. And today, there are apps for all sorts of connections. You can even find a great sugar dating app and go on dates with rich guys. If you look into sugar dating, you’ll see that many long-lasting and truly loving relationships started that way and ended up being so much more. 

Searching for love in all the wrong places

It’s funny that often women who refuse to engage in online dating culture choose to go looking for a partner in clubs and bars. It’s wrong to say that these spots are reserved for bad people and players, but clubs, raves and other loud events usually attract immature people only looking for flings. If you don’t have a lot of time to waste, don’t go looking for love in the wrong places. Instead, focus on places that have a good reputation. For instance, if you have a special hobby or interest, go to conventions and meetups for like-minded people. A gym might be a great place to start a conversation for someone who’s into sports. And don’t disregard your workplace. It’s not smart to date your team members, but someone from the same company but a different team or department might be a good match. 

Being something you’re not

Many women try too hard to be something they are not. If women are considered mysterious and confusing, men are just the same—don’t think you can fake being something they want. It’s very unhealthy to shape yourself to fit a mold or kill yourself to achieve an aesthetic image of your partner’s ideal mate. You might keep a relationship this way, but you’ll lose yourself in the process. You don’t have to be perfect, just find someone who loves you for the real you, and vice versa. 

These dating obstacles are easy to notice but they are hard to fix. It’s going to take a lot of time to fix your way of thinking, but once you do, you’ll open the door to true, healthy, happy and long-lasting love.